He is infinite. He has no beginning and no end. No beginning and no end. He doesn't rush around on a time crunch trying to accomplish goals before time runs out. He doesn't stress out about turning 1 billion and 40 years old. But He also has the humility, patience, tenderness, and the thoughtfulness of total confidence and is unshaken in His identity. For us to have that kind of spirit within us, some of us would live thousands of years and still not feel that constant inner fortitude. He doesn't have the frailties that we have but He knows how they feel because of Jesus. He didn't have to do that. "Who are we that God is mindful of man?" Good question. I do not know other than He delights Himself in us. I enjoy my yarn creations but not to the point I would lay my life down for them. We are creatures that are minute compared to Him. People that have the coolest head on their shoulders could possibly look like worry warts to Him. Our vanity, lust for things, insecurities in body parts, busyness with the temporal things of this world, etc, in my mind would frustrate a God who is made in our image. But He is not. He was not made. He is. Yes, I am sure he gets frustrated and angry even over the sin of His Creation, but the moment a heart is turned toward Him... That moment when a soul is found by Him. That moment a soul finds Him. That is a moment that I believe can stop God's heart and fill Him with compassion, tenderness, passion, and speechlessness. Holy abandon. It is a moment He yearns for whether it is your first time "meeting" Him or you seeking Him out for guidance, wisdom, blessings, or better yet, just to be with Him. It is just a moment in time, time that was created by Him, yet He isn't confined to it. A person's heart can break that time barrier and capture the heart of God. The heart of God. The very heart of God. He isn't too busy directing the planets or working on the global crisis that He doesn't turn immediately to that heart, that soul searching for Him. The world doesn't go into chaos if He takes time with you, and others at the same time. He is greater than we can imagine and His Presence can fill your living room and fill you without the universe shaking, without leaving Heaven, yet that moment is huge.
Chuck and I considered having a fourth child when Grace turned 2. We thought it seemed like a good time but then his company downsized and left his department slashed in half. His father wasn't tolerating his last few chemotherapy treatments very well and hadn't been able to have any for a month. We looked into selling our house and found out what most everybody already knows. We changed our minds and decided to wait. But God sought us out and thought it was in fact a good time to bring in the picture a fourth child.
Do we worry? Sure. Do we wonder how it is going to pan out? Yep. Do we plan how to make the best with what we have? Absolutely. But we are not left to our own resolve, our own power, or our own joy set before us. We have the one who designed our family with us to make us feel safe, to give us a solid foundation to stand on no matter what comes our way. And we have the wisdom of God to continue building on the foundation, board by board and nail by nail until the day our house is finished. But like any relationship requires time, communication, and investment so must we pursue our God. Sometimes your BFF calls you on the phone and sometimes you call them. Sometimes they need you and sometimes you need them.
So as I sit and meditate instead of finishing the dishes and starting home school like I had intended this morning, I have been flooded with gratitude and peace and comfort and awe! When I see Him, my plans fade and all I want are His plans for our family. The One who created us created us with a purpose and it is well within His power to bring about that purpose. God, the creator of all living things, the very stars, and the tiny baby growing in me, chose me to carry this little one. Chose my husband to be the father. Chose our other children to be this baby's best friends for years and years. Now, I know people have babies all the time, but my faith in the God of the Bible allows me to see things differently than I would have 15 years ago. Differently than someone who does not acknowledge a Creator. It allows me to let go of my worries. I must let go of them to embrace the peace He has to offer. It allows me to trust that things work out and not always how I imagine they will. I have to let go of pride to walk in His humble plan. It allows me to break that time barrier anytime I want and draw strength from the Presence of The One True God. A perspective I might not have on my own. A new wave of hope or peace that I need to accomplish the tasks He has set on my path. The strength to hold my tongue and the strength to speak with boldness. Looking at the stars, the infinite stars that have still been unable to be counted were created by the God that created me and you. The Bible tells me that He knows the number of hairs on our head. He knows when we fall and when we triumph. He knows the sadness that can overwhelm us and the joy that can elate us. He truly cares. He rejoices when we rejoice and grieves when we do. Two Scriptures that I have committed to memory and lean on regularly are worth memorizing.
Proverbs 3:5-6
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and mind. Lean not on your own understanding, but in all your ways acknowledge(submit to) Him and He will make your paths straight."
Proverbs 19:21
"Many are the plans in a person's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails."
I guess I felt compelled to write again to encourage you in your walk. As you walk through this life, you have a purpose and the most important thing is not your job, your church or your goals in life. It is your purpose. You can only fulfill that purpose with God. He gifted you specifically for your purpose. He designed your personality specifically for your purpose. And while you may end up doing what He created you to do, you will always have that yearning for something to fill you, that striving for something more deep inside you. He delights Himself in you! The God of all Creation, the Heavens, the very concepts of love, hate, passion, hunger and thirst, justice and compassion delights in you!!! Delight in Him and enjoy your lot in life despite financial struggles, loss, stress or emotional instability, addiction, anxiety or depression. You can reach the heart of God and walk this life with Him.
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